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Introducing Lube into Relationship

Introducing Lube into Relationships

Tips for a Smooth Transition for couples and partnered play

two people embracing with wet, lubricated skin

“Communication is like lubrication for relationships. When applied correctly, things go much smoother and with less friction.”

Live, Laugh, Lube

Following the blog Everything You Want To Know About Lube I had a really good question from someone on instagram asking to share (fun) ways we can introduce lube to partnered play. How and where to use it best? And at which point during play would you introduce it? All really important questions because, let's face it, lube can be a little awkward to bring up sometimes.

In the not so distant past the lack of conversation around sexual wellness topics meant the topic of Lube came with a huge stigma. Thankfully as conversations about sexual wellness become mainstream, these ideas fall away.

It might surprise you to know that lubricants are among the most popular sexual wellness products today. This is something I see reflected in the Toy Store, with lube being the most popular product there too. With more couples and individuals prioritising sexual wellness, lube has become a staple in enhancing comfort and pleasure.

So, whether you’re looking to spice things up, try some new techniques or just need a little extra lubrication where it counts, let's figure out how you can start having those conversations! 

Tips for Introducing Lube into the bedroom for couples


Communication is lubrication as they say so this is where we begin! It is always a good idea when starting conversations about sex to do it OUTSIDE of the bedroom first. It's helpful to introduce the conversation about lube in a casual, positive way. Here are some examples;

  1. “I read that using lube can make sex even more enjoyable and comfortable. What do you think about trying it?” Avoid questions where the answer is yes/no - by keeping the questions open ended helps start a conversation that goes back and forth!
  2. “I picked up this new lube the other day, and I thought it might be fun to try it together. Are you open to giving it a go?” Presenting lube as a new, exciting addition to your intimate routine can make the idea more appealing. It frames the use of lube as something adventurous.
  3. “I’ve been reading about ways to make sex even better, and a lot of people recommend using lube. I’m curious to see if it would work for us. What do you think?”
    Another open ended conversation starter. This can be a way to introduce exploration and invites your partner to share their thoughts and feelings on the topic.


A really nice way to start conversations is sharing information or even researching together. This can be articles, IG posts, podcasts, etc. This can help both partners feel informed and more comfortable with the idea.

Make It a Fun Activity

Shopping Together Taking the sharing of articles a step further...go shopping for lube together, whether online or in-store. This can be a fun bonding activity and ensures you both have a say in what you choose.

Choose the Right Lube for you

Different lube will give you different options for introducing this into partnered play!

  • Water-Based Lubes: Water based lubes are great options to get started with. This is because they are versatile, safe to use with sex toys and condoms and they are easy to clean up.
  • Oil-based Lubes: These can be a really easy option to introduce into partnered play if you are nervous as most oil based lubes double as massage oil. Start by massaging your partners body or add oil-based lube to hand jobs or vulva loving. This can be a way to introduce lube as part of the flow of intimacy without it being awkward. Remember, oil based lubes are generally not compatible with condoms.
  • Silicone-Based Lubes: These lubes are long lasting and are great for activities involving water. Introducing lube into shower sex or baths as a way to massage or add different sensations to playtime.

More ways to Introduce Lube to partnered play

I have described some options for introducing lube to partnered play above and here are some more ideas;

  • Introduce Lube Gradually: Start by incorporating lube early into your sexy experience. Use it during massage or while stimulating each other with your hands.
  • Playful Introduction: Turn applying lube into a sensual activity. Warm it up in your hands before applying it to each other’s bodies. If you use oil based lubes these can sometimes be heated up gently and you can pour it over each other. This can make the experience fun, less clinical and really about sensations. Think about adding a blindfold for even more fun!


Introduce lube in a relaxed setting. Approach the use of lube without pressure or high expectations. The idea is to enhance pleasure and comfort, not to create anxiety or stress. Focus on play, fun and curiosity. 

Feedback Loop

Lastly, after experimenting with lube encourage your partner to share their feelings about using lube and share yours. Discuss what worked well, what you liked and what didn’t like so you can improve your experiences together going forward.

Top Lube Picks

For More Lube Education

Don't forget to read this blog

Everything You Want To Know About Lube

Happy Lubing,

Jenny xx

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